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Not to suck my own dick but this gold wing and emerald green headwrap needs to make an appearance on the timeline ok.

At this point the only thing I’m excited about in life is trying new things with my eyeshadow palettes from what I’ve seen on IG

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online but not "on" "line" if you know what I mean

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Of the 40 recorded miracles, 70% of them were just Jesus walking around giving out free healthcare.

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no free parking outside my parents house buddy. you wanna come in here and watch me play games while you also browse your phone in silence, you gotta cough up some cold hard cash

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time for a quick nap so i can be sharp and focused for tonight's monk session later.
#shalhoub2020

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@themugue Um ... Well, there's no point in being upset by the movement of time since it cannot be stopped.

Although I think the closer you get to the north or south pole, the slower time moves ... or something.

And you can also gain hours by flying around the world in the opposite direction to the earth's spin.

But I think both of those things would be a colossal waste of time.

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@themugue well, that's not inaccurate.

Here I am inching closer to 40, thinking that soon I'll look up and I'll be 80 wondering where it all went... assuming nothing untoward happens in the intermediary.

Life might be the longest thing we do, but it's still bloody short.

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pronouns are simply nouns who are paid to do their jobs. i prefer amateur nouns because they have more character

This is what I tell myself. Ignore at your own discretion 😒...

Another fucking week. July is nearly over meaning the year is nearly over meaning the years are just passing by meaning you’re wasting your life meaning you’re nearly dead.

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all of your friends are cunts, your mother is a ballpoint pen thief

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I'm not asking for a lot, only unconditional love and someone who'll wink at me like the DiGiorno Pan-Pan-Pan-Pan Lady.

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Real quick, someone fall in love with me, as a bit. It'll be *hilarious*

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my dad is bigger than your dad he's got eight cars and a house in ireland

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Chinwag Social

Consider this a friendly, local pub. Make yourself at home, bring your friends, have a good time! Meet new people, have a laugh, enjoy the ambience, and the Oxford commas.