@matt if I was more serious I'd have a proper machine to crush up my apples for me instead of chopping them by hand and hitting them with a big lump of wood.
@mike@matt My wife is on a health kick and recently bought a juicer. It’s in no way big enough for your purposes, but perhaps a regular kitchen juicer would be far more efficient than your lump of wood?
Consider this a friendly, local pub. Make yourself at home, bring your friends, have a good time! Meet new people, have a laugh, enjoy the ambience, and the Oxford commas.
Well, it's a start!