After a lot of searching and evaluation I have come to the conclusion that the perfect table I need for the room I'm doing over does exist and is reasonably priced, but is only available in one place on this planet.
I'm going to Ikea. Pray for me.
Thank you all for your support at this difficult time. I am now a table owner. I wish I could have done this all online but I really needed to see the colour of it in person before making a decision.
I also purchased a small rug so gg IKEA you fucking got me.
If anyone's keen to see, here's my new table and the little rug (it really ties the room together).
@mike Mike. Been good knowing you.
IKEA is one of the few places that'll sell you a piece of furniture with simple, classic or modern styling for not a ton.
I'd shop at more legit furniture stores if they'd tone the "style" down a bit.
@thraeryn I have a long-standing loathing of rooms that look like their catalogue photos. I know some people like the style, but I tend to recoil from things that look too Ikea-esqe.
This one piece won't be too overwhelming though, so I think I can deal. I already own the chairs I want, so can't go too wrong with a flat square thing with legs.
@mike I've got a $10 voucher for there if you want it.
@Andrea can't think of any reason not to use it! Do you need anything from there while I'm at it?
@mike just emailed it to you.
@mike I have nightmares where I end up lost in the maze of staged kitchens, offices, bedrooms and tiny apartments...undiscovered for months, living on leftover Swedish meatballs scavenged from the cafe after closing...
Until one day I'm found, disheveled and delerious, swearing in frustration trying to send a toot on one of those cardboard prop computers.
@mike I have synchronised our watches. If you're not out in sixteen hours we'll notify your next of kin.
@mike Be strong. Also, try the meatballs.
@mike Il tavolo è molto bene!
*sends some nihilists around to piss on the rug*
@mike [appreciates the three-panel window in fluent Heritage]
Consider this a friendly, local pub. Make yourself at home, bring your friends, have a good time! Meet new people, have a laugh, enjoy the ambience, and the Oxford commas.