So I came home from work today exhausted, and the little one has had a bad day. There was bad sloppy shit all down the hallway, and she was messy too. So I've cleaned up a lot of poo in my time, and I can deal with these situations. Cleaned floor. Cleaned dog. Reassured upset dog. Then I went to get changed and found she had spent the day on my bed. There is shit smeared on my pillow cases, sheets, quilt cover. So now I'm spending the night soaking and washing bedding. Happy Monday.
Yet another confusing headfuck of a night. It was the niceness of it, the fact that it worked so well. There are so many shifting boundaries, walls behind walls, ego and fear and old trauma. Will won't, is isn't, can can't. Want, not sure, want, don't want, want now but not later, want maybe but not now. Don't change yourself, don't fucking hold space for me, I can hold my own space.... Stop trying to take responsibility. I don't want some sacrificial gift of your heart. I want YOU. As you are.
The thing I appreciate most about walking here at this time is the fireflies hovering about by the swampy canals. I've never lived somewhere with fireflies. I remember spending Christmas up on the tablelands maybe 15 years ago. I slept on a big bed on the deck with a big mosquito net around it. I awoke late at night to see many fireflies all around my bed. It was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. I had forgotten about that until recently.
Dogs will ignore you if they know you are lying
It's recently come to my attention that I talk like a massive derro. I'm not even sure how this has happened. It must have been slowly over time. I'm actually quite well educated, perfectly capable of proper enunciation. I listen to myself speak and it doesn't sound right. I tend to say "nah" instead of "no". I'm attempting to correct it but it's taking an alarming amount of energy. I'm feeling very uncomfortable about the situation. I need to recraft myself somehow. Wtf.
Here I stand, in a spacesuit, experiencing a lunar eclipse with my own eyes for the very first time.
Here I stand, on the Moon, bathed in the dim red glow of totality, the Earth a dark disc ringed with the fire of every simultaneous sunrise and sunset.
Here I stand, still a man and not a wolf, because here, the Moon is not full but the Earth is new.
We platypuses sleep a lot. While we sleep, we dream. And our minds Travel. Wherever we Travel, we collect a trait from the people we meet.
We’ve met people who lay eggs, people with venomous claws, people with faces that can sense electricity. Last year we met people with fluorescent hair.
You may not believe that we Travel, but that’s all right: we are accustomed to scepticism, even about our existence. Scepticism is a trait we never collected.
I love Jack Russell Terriers. I love all of the dogs. Dog is love.
Consider this a friendly, local pub. Make yourself at home, bring your friends, have a good time! Meet new people, have a laugh, enjoy the ambience, and the Oxford commas.