Wtf? Now Telstra knows I'm at the airport and is sending me unsolicited text messages.

Letmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeout! I'm not even on the plane yet and I want to shoot myself. Ursula LeGuin was right. Airports are the worst places on Earth.

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A friend offered to give me a lift to the airport. I realised halfway there that they had a terrible cold. I spent the rest of the car trip trying desperately not to breathe. Now I'm in the airport, at least 10m from anyone and I'm supposed to wear a mask. If he's given me a cold and fucked up my dive I'll kill him. I'll straight up kill him.

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It turns out cairns airport is tiny. I'm an hour early with nothing to do. I hate airports. I wish I drank coffee.

It's surprising how many people hire arborists to trim a hedge. We only cost 3x your average gardener. Doesn't bother me. I'll just do it really really slowly. Rich people are weird. They don't even know what they want. They just want us to do things to the plants.

This seems like a very useful service. I just wonder how they cover running costs, as it doesn't seem to have a mechanism for making any money. Has anyone else used it before?

I don't want to go to work tomorrow, ergo, I don't want to go to sleep tonight. It's a pitiful and totally self defeating rebellion but here we are.

Now to play everybody's favourite game... "What is Funk gonna have for dinner!". Current pickings on offer at home include a half eaten apple turnover from Babinda bakery, a bag of chips, and half a block of cheese. Maybe I'll go to the shop. What the hell do people even buy from the shop? What the hell do people even eat? I swear I'm going to end up starving to death some day due to just not being able to get it together.

Caught the sunrise this morning from the top of Walshs Pyramid. Started hiking up at 4:30am. Absolutely bloody beautiful morning. Pro tip - take a jumper next time ;-)

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Chinwag Social

Consider this a friendly, local pub. Make yourself at home, bring your friends, have a good time! Meet new people, have a laugh, enjoy the ambience, and the Oxford commas.